TRUST

Walking outside alone continues to be the most powerful listening time for me. Today, as things seem to be quickly escalating in this pandemic, fear had once again gripped me. I set my intention for this walk. To be still and listen. It took over 30 minutes to start to quiet. I actually asked God out loud if he was there. I started to kind of doubt it. Then I heard clearly: there is fear because there is so much unknown right now. And in my mind I was transported to my many hours of climbing to reach the top of Ireland’s high holy mountain in 2015. As many of you know, this changed the course of my life. After hours, I made it half way. I was thrilled. With no intention to climb to the top. I heard- “Keep going, I’ve got you”. When it got impossible for me, no path, climbing on rocks needing to use my hands, I heard the words whispered at first, then louder. Then every step I took I had to say them out loud. STRENGTH. BALANCE. TRUST. I made it to the top. But my lesson today has to do with the climb down. It started to rain, then snow. I remembered that someone fell and died the day before. Fear took over, and I was actually paralyzed. I remember saying, “Yeah, this isn’t fun anymore and I’m not going down. I can’t.” It took 2 young people on either side talking me down. For hours. Today, I refuse to be paralyzed with fear. I will ask for strength, balance, trust.